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It's my party and I wanna cry for christ's sake! It's 12:20am and I can't fucking sleep. I've been reading through old diary entries and realising just how little and how much I've actually changed over the past few years. I miss the days when I could write freely and not have to censor my thoughts. It might soon be time for a change of space. I'm all confused and angsty and homesick and BLERGH! On the brightside, it looks like I am going to be able to afford a ticket home in September and get to see some of the people I miss so much. I honestly never thought I'd be looking foward to going to Long Island. Go figure. There are a few really cool things that I have to look forward to in the next couple of weeks. Weddings, music festivals, girlie nights spent bonding over 60's pop and Rocky Horror, and trips to see Lee's fam and friends in honour of his birthday (August 1st). I just wish that those were enough to make me feel better. Right now I feel like I have 1001 decisions to make and that I'm going to spontaneously combust if I don't make the right ones. The plane crashing dreams have already started. Anyone know of any good books about overcoming a fear of flying. Oh and yes, I do realise that it's kind of strange that someone this afraid of air travel has decided to live abroad. What can I say? I hate those damn metal birds but I love traveling! AND, AND, AND, I HATE ENGLISH TELEVISION* AND WANT CABLE BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE CURE TO INSOMNIA IS A GOOD OLD FASHIONED GOLDEN GIRLS MARATHON!!!!!!! I'm sure that after I finally manage to get some sleep normal services will resume and I'll be my usual sunny self. *That's not actually true - I'm just bored and overly tired and WAH!!!!! :-(
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