|
|
|
Here I Go Again Things at work seemed better for about a week but took a turn for the worse yesterday afternoon. As a result I ended up with my crying hysterically last night as I tried to make a pasta bake while repeating, �I�m ok, I�m ok� over and over again. Welcome to the Bell Jar people, it�s slightly claustrophobic in here. My main problem seems to be that I never stick up for myself here and let people walk all over me while keeping my feelings bottled up. What happens is that hours, sometimes days later I just explode with completely displaced frustration and anger. As usual Lee was there to console me and pick up the pieces. I really don�t know what I did / do to deserve him. He�s just that wonderful to me. I really do have to figure out a way to deal with my feelings when they first occur and not let things fester. I�m afraid that if I keep ignoring them and eventually act out I�ll end up either driving Lee away or completely cracking. I realise though that my situation will not change on its own that that I need to take some action. I�m trying but it�s a very daunting prospect. It�s not as nice outside today as it has been and I�m feeling a little blue. My moods really do seem to mirror the weather; maybe I should move somewhere tropical. That would be nice. Fortunately it�s supposed to be nice on Saturday when we�re planning on heading to Greenwich to see the Tin Tin exhibit at the Maritime Museum. On Sunday I need to return some clothes and try to track down a bag I�ve been meaning to purchase. I�m very much looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. [-] My ear is still bothering me and I�m getting nervous about flying in about three weeks time. I need to sort that out and soon but the ENT hospital won�t give me an appointment until the DAY BEFORE I FLY! [-] My co-worker is driving me nuts, walking all over me, and totally taking the piss [-] I can�t go to ww today because I have two meetings this afternoon and stuff to do for aforementioned co-worker [-] The journey into work taking twice as long as it should because the trains were all packed [-] Fear of ear problems, next week�s dentist appt, and flying [+] The spinach and eggplant pasta bake I made last night [+] The first series of Phoenix nights on DVD [+] Having nice weekend plans [+] Raspberry, cranberry, and elderflower tea [+] The Shins CD that Lee bought for me just because he�s nice [+] The fact that tomorrow is Friday [+] Getting back in touch with an old friend
|
