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NEW

ME

DIARYLAND


Hot Hot Hot!
07 August 2003
4:43 pm

I find that since starting Weight Watchers, I am much more self-conscious of my body and overall appearance than I was before. Maybe this is because I now have an image of how I want to look once I reach goal. I feel almost alien in this body now. It�s as if this isn�t how I�m meant to be and I won�t be comfortable with myself until I am at my ideal weight. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not have issues with my body / weight. I can�t remember there ever being a time where I wasn�t constantly aware of my size, no matter how big or small.

I other news, I hate the shoes I have on today so much that if I had any money I�d run over to Victoria and buy some new ones this instant. It�s ridiculous, but I know that I�m going to be conscious of them all day now. That�s just how I operate.

While we were in Germany, Lee and I went through loads of pictures of my family and self when I was in my late teens / early twenties. It�s amazing to me how much I�ve changed and how many things I�ve experiences in the last ten years. In those from when I was 17, I�m rail thin and really young and innocent looking. As the years go on, so do the pounds and slight jadedness. It was actually quite amusing and bizarre to go through all of them.

Germany was really nice overall. I think we were there a day or two too many as the town is very small and there�s not much to do. We had to contend with some slight family drama and my ever-complaining Grandmother, but even that wasn�t too bad. It was fantastic to see my cousin and he got us as �drunken� as he�d promised. The festival itself was really cute. Every winery had tents, tables, entertainment, and of course plenty of wien. We stayed out until four one morning drinking schorles (spritzers) and jacky colas* (what they call Jack and Cokes which I intend to use from now on) and talking with my cousin�s friends. We also got to spend some time with his very cute little children, one of whom kept correcting my German! Although kind of annoying, it was very cute considering he�s only four years old.

Now we�re back and London is burning. Yesterday was London�s hottest day ever!! I don�t remember the exact figure but it was something like 95 degrees outside. This is England people! It isn�t supposed to be so hot. What�s even more interesting than the heat itself is the people�s inability to believe and handle weather like this. I absolutely hate it myself, but at least I�m used to it. What I�m not used to is not having air-conditioning everywhere I go. If this doesn�t let up soon, I might have to invest in one of those little personal cooling systems they sell at places like The Sharper Image.

Now just 20 minutes to kill until I'm off to meet Lee for some sushi and rock musik!

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