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ME

DIARYLAND


. . . with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face . . .
09 November 2004
1:54 pm

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those �you had to be there� type things but I am going to post it anyway. On our last day in Germany we travelled to Potsdam, which we had heard was very beautiful. It turned out that we�d heard correctly as it was a wonderfully quaint and lovely little city. While we were heading back to the train station to catch a train back into Berlin, we stumbled upon a gorgeous palace where we found the most absurd cherub ever. Check him out with his smug little grin striking a Fonzie-esque �Eh� pose!:

I nearly died when I saw him. Amidst all the classical statues surrounding the palace, he was a sure sign that someone involved in its construction had a sense of humour.

It turns out there�s nothing like having two weeks left at work to kill any semblance of job related motivation I might have had. I got in at 8:40 today and even though it�s only 12, it feels like I�ve been here for ages. Argh. At least I have the music quiz tonight to look forward to. We haven�t gone in months so I�m really excited.

I can�t believe I fly home in less than four weeks. I�m just one big messed up ball of emotions at the moment. I must have started crying at least 10 times on Sunday. The strange thing is that overall things are really good. I�m confident in this decision that Lee and I made together and in my heart I know everything is going to work out for the best. I also know that we�re going to have an amazing month together. That doesn�t change the fact that the whole thing is really overwhelming.

When I start to think about starting over again, I get scared. When I think about Lee and I being apart again, I get sad. When I think about seeing my friends and being closer to my family, I get excited. I know that this is just the means to the end and in many ways it�s another step towards being together permanently somewhere in the not too distant future. I also know that nothing in life is definite. If I�ve learned anything in my nearly 27 years on this planet, it�s that you can�t be certain about anything. That scares the shit out of me because in the end, we really have no idea what�s going to happen. *sigh* For now I choose to believe that whatever is meant to be will be. What else can I do? I just hope that all these choices I�ve made recently turn out to be the right ones.

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