OLD

NEW

ME

DIARYLAND


EB (wants to) Go Home!
08 July 2004
1:28 pm

Work has been very busy lately, which is a good thing as it makes the days pass more quickly than usual. It still sucks donkey balls overall which is why I�m pleased that I landed a job interview! The job itself is in a similar to the one I have now in that it involved grant application appraisals and policy work, but it�s for an organisation that gets kids involved in music. More importantly, the salary is significantly higher than what I earn now. I�m also still looking at graduate schools. Having to make big decisions make me want to curl up into a little ball and rock in a corner somewhere. Me no likee.

The weather here continues to be incredibly strange. The storms last night were so severe that our windows rattled and the streets were littered with debris this morning. In this kind of weather all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and watch good movies, which is exactly what I did last night. I�d never seen �Room With a View� before and thought it was fantastic. It makes me want to go out and rent all the Hitchcock movies I�ve never seen which, it turns out, is quite a few. He was born in Leytonstone as anyone who has ever been in the Leytonstone tube station will probably will have surmised. Fact.

So much other stuff running through my head that I don�t want to/can�t be arsed/probably shouldn�t write about. The bottom line is that things are good and I am happy. I have however, recently realised a few very important things about myself. I don�t like change. I often live in and romanticise the past. I always expect the worst. I fear committing to anything in the long run because I doubt my ability to make good decisions. I don�t think that recognising these things will make me change but I suppose it�s a start.

Finally � I hate my job with the intensity of a thousand suns. All I want to do right now is stand up and walk out of here. I would then go shopping with my nonexistent money buy myself an ice cream sundae before heading to the video store to rent some movies in preparation for an evening of food, film, and fucking. Instead I�m stuck here until six at which point I will be too tired to do any of the above. GRRRRR!!!!!

previous - next