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Jobs I have held . . . Camp Counselor Honestly? I absolutely loved this job. I adore kids and was able to work with four and five year olds which are a blast to be around. We got to swim, have snack, and sometimes even naptime. The little tykes grew really attached to me and would say the sweetest things! Well, except for that one time when some brat poked my leg and said, �Your thighs are fatter then my Mommies,� that wasn�t very sweet. That little bitch. *ahem* Aside from that I fucking loved working with those little kids, accidents, unintentionally rude comments, and all. Intern at a music marketing and publicity firm. On paper this should have been my ideal job. I got to work with people I considered friends outside of the office. We listed to cool music at all times and could smoke as much as we wanted in the office. In fact, smoking was encouraged. My boss would go out for lunch and return with neat, sometimes pornographic, toys for us. We got to attend record label parties and occasionally meet celebrities. Working with someone who has been in the music industry for twenty years is makes for some fantastic story time. I always liked the one about how S slept with David Bowie, or about how she�d done so much coke in the seventies that she�d blown a hole in her nose and permanently damaged her tear ducts. Unfortunately, the reality of the job was that I was expected to cover my bosses hungover asses day in and day out. They�d waltz in at four in the afternoon after having been in �meetings� (ie. In bed) all morning, while I�d spent the entire time lying to clients over the phone. I was also privlaged enough to witness them throw temper tantrums often and violently, and listen to them bitch continuously about how much stress they were under. Yeah, partying with rock stars is really, really stressful. Oh, and all I really did was cut crap out of magazines and wind up with glue covered hands every night. Waitress There�s really nothing quite like waitressing. Slinging people�s food while bearing the brunt of their abuse and having to smile throughout it all in the hopes of scoring a big tip is not how I like to spend my spare time. Yes, the tips can be very, very good and the hours are sometimes appealing as well. I�ve waitressed in several places. Working for my parents was horrible as my father took every possible opportunity he could to critisise me and I always had to work when no one else could. Bartending / waitressing in a Boston dive bar was fun until I had to contend with a drunken customer who demanded I have sex with him and another who threw a glass which narrowly missed my head. The tiny pizza place / bistro was actually pretty good until I got fired for a misunderstanding that was beyond my control. Working in the caf� / sandwich bar was loads of fun. Located on posh Newbury street I had to contend with obnoxious moneyed bitches who would snap their fingers and talk down to me. It took all the strength I had to keep me from screamin, �Just because I work here doesn�t mean you can treat me like crap. I have a degree from a university, come from a nice background, and have more class in my pinky then you do in your entire body you new money cunt!� on a daily basis. Bath and Body Works Sales Person It�s hard to get overly excited about cucumber and melon body cream. Besides, smiling for eight ours a day and constantly repeating the phrase, �Welcome to Bath and Body Works. Is there anything I can help you with today?� was enough to make me want to slit my wrists in a warm, sun ripened raspberry scented bath. Administrative Assistant Stylee Person This was my first �real� job after college and the position I�ve held the longest. Certain things about it were wonderful. I travelled free and with an expense account to both San Diego and London. I could dress casually at work and had a fair amount of vacation time. It provided me with some really good experience and I met a few interesting (to say the least) people. On the flipside, I spent most of my days there bored out of my skull. I didn�t have a window anywhere near my desk and I hardly spoke to anyone. There were many days when I couldn�t leave the building because I was in the office alone and had to cover the phones. It was the most boring job in the world and to be honest, the pay wasn�t really that great. Thinking about it now, I really can�t believe that I lasted there that long. I�m fairly certain that the only reason I was able to do so without offing myself or masacarring my coworkers was because my unmonitored internet usage kept me somewhat busy, entertained, and sane. Also, the summer when I was continuously sexually harassed by my bosses nephew provided me with some good story telling material. Have you ever had a Pakastani guy who calls himself both �The Chocolate Wand� and �Mr. Oral� tell you he wanted to get you two bi-sexual Asian potheads as a leaving present so that he could watch the hot threesome action? Yeah, I didn�t think so. Temporary Worker at Various Places of EmploymentTemping can be both the best goig in the entire world, and the worst. On the one hand, since you�re not considered a �real� employee nobody really expects much out of you. On the other hand, since you�re a temp most people think you�re either a) incredibly dumb b) a loser with an inability to keep a job c) nonexistent. I�ve done it before and I�m doing it now and to be honest, temping isn�t really all that bad. The people here have all been really lovely and I�m getting to do more than just photocopying and filing which is nice. Still, it feels weird not to have my own physical space in the office and to know that just when I get comfortable, I�ll probably finish my assignment. To be continued . . .
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